Friday, November 26, 2010

An Italian Boy's Confession


I normally do not post jokes, poems, yes, but jokes, not so much. But this one I found to be extremely cunning and full of the holiday spirit. As the blessed holidays approach, you will find people becoming brutally animalistic to get what they want. Dollar signs invade the hearts and minds of all, leaving those who keep the spirit of giving alive year round feeling disgusted and on the verge of vomitting. Enjoy!





AN ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I cannot say.'

'Was it little Teresa Aconito?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Dolly Borsato?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that.
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew,
and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'

'Four months' vacation and five good leads.'

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

By Plane, Train And Blue Tattoos

My good buddy Durango, says that I get offered the most amazing trips from people I hardly know. That's how I got to go to Vegas during the summer for four sorta interesting days. Love the sights and sounds, but the company...well...not much to say about that. Thing is, once I'm there, I'm gonna have an amazing time, regardless of who I'm with. And why not? I've got one life to live and I intend on making the most of it. Okay, back to this trip offer thing.

I made friends on Jango with a fellow over in Japan. No, he's not Japanese, he's just stationed there. He just spent time in Singapore and is planning a trip to Ireland for the winter break. Then he casually mentions a ten day trip across Brazil and Argentina by rail in May and an invite, "Wanna come?".

Oh, I told him that my days of riding on the back of a stranger's motorcycle to follow the Grateful Dead were pretty much over. Well, then he mentions, "Brazilian steak houses, Argentina wine country, Cheap hotels.........its going to be epic."

Epic? Now that peaked my interest. He says that I have plenty of time to think about it and that he's the funnest guy he knows. So, one has to wonder...how many guys does he know and what exactly is his idea of fun?

Now, methinks I have some pondering to do...

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Still Singing The Jango Blues

Remember a few days ago, or maybe it was further back...hmm...time is such a blur for me. Anywho, a man emailed me on Jango to inform me that the true path to righteousness is through the Roman Catholic church. I'm not even sure why he felt the need to convince me of this, so I didn't respond, but he emailed me again:

Hope I didn't freak you out too much on that last e-mail, Raven, but I'm pretty passionate about being Catholic Christian....I left home when I was 18 searching for God and going through all types of beliefs, finally read a book about the Early Church Fathers and couldn't deny the Catholic Church sounded just like what the early Christians(spiritually and belief-wise) were like. Two good sources if you were interested would be St. Ignatius of Antioch, and Justin Martyr...or Mike Aquilina has a book on the Early Church Fathers......Anyway, have a wonderful day and hope you find God in a meaningful way in your life!


God bless and peace to you, Steve.

Well, isn't that sweet...he hopes that I'll find God in a meaningful way...and on top of that...he even introduced himself to me. Hello, Steve... and here's my response:

Well, Steve...no, you didn't freak me out. And honestly "early church fathers" is another word for men that try to define God. Again, I'm not in search of the "right" religion. Only a true relationship with God. I read His Word, and have prayed and received the gift of interpretation, which according to the bible, any one of us can receive, with faith. Over the past three years since I separated from organized religion, I have found more truths and epiphanies than anyone could ever imagine. It is also not my job to spread what I know...unless someone asks. First, I'll tell you why I just can't get into Catholicism... With the coming of Jesus Christ...there was no more need for intercessory prayer or sacrifices...see Steve, he took all that away and the veil ripping in the holy of holies...is the symbolic and actual sign that ALL the rules that men have made up...are not required. To follow God...all you must do is LOVE HIM with all your heart, have faith and keep HIS commandments. Sorry, hun...


PS
You don't have to hope...I already have :-)

Why is it that when people leave home and do all sorts of really heinous stuff they call it "searching for God". Come on, you were sinning and you liked it, you bastard!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Singing The Jango Blues

I've been a member of Jango for quite some time. I figured out how to add friends to my wall, taking a term from Face Book, a few months ago. Until then, I listened to my music in peace. I like Jango because I am able to create countless radio stations to match my listening moods. One can add various artists from any genre, such as if I wanted I could have Evanescence and Cheap Trick on the same station, which by the way, I do. I digress, back to listening in peace.

Like I said, I had been listening in peace, then I started accepting friends. These new friends are from all over. You have several options. You can send an email, a one line shout or a thank you. I like the shouts and thank yous. Short and simple. The emails, not so much.

I accepted a friend request from someone named Stu. This Stu person wrote very lengthy emails to which I responded, sometimes in great length as well. Why not? I like to write and read, so it seemed absolutely normal. Oh, we discussed stuff such as religion and relationships, the usual.

Well, then...life happened. I got busier. Flood, surgery, school...you know, the normal stuff. I didn't go onto Jango for a few days, but when I did I had this miserable email from Stu informing me of how awful of a friend I was for ignoring him. I apologized for a bit of chaos in my life. He didn't accept and has deleted his profile from Jango...basically he no longer exists, well...in my world anyway.

How strange. Then I get an email from another fella, that wants to know my religion. Okay, I respond, informing him that I'm not affiliated with any religion that I'm a truth seeker. He then sends off this rather lengthy email informing me the true religion is Catholicism. I'm thinking...hey, when did I ask?

So, I'm thinking I just want to go back to listening to my music in peace...