Do you ever take inventory of your life and look back a year, two years and wonder have you actually moved forward? I suppose if you did not plan to move forward, but only to maintain, then that question would not apply to you.
Let me take a walk down memory lane for a minute or two, please indulge me. Two years ago, 2009, I was working for TYC in Pyote, was twenty pounds heavier, in much more debt, finally coming to the realization that my marriage of eight years disintegrated; depressed, floundering, just maintaining.
2010, I found more pleasurable employment within a school district that is closer to home. I resolved to lose those unwanted twenty pounds and did. I cut up my credit cards and started paying off debt, over fifteen thousand to date. Made peace with my failed marriage and filed for divorce; hopeful, determined, gaining ground.
Here I am though, halfway through 2011 and I find myself floundering once again. No, I'm okay with debt, still gaining ground. And no, I'm not gaining weight again, still exercising and eating healthy. Not even giving the failed marriage a second thought, I survived and have put it behind me. So, why am I feeling...a bit discontent?
I think it's the ideology and dogma of others that has infiltrated my otherwise peaceful forward moving life. I can not for the life of me, convince my son to finish his entire senior year here in Wink. He's discontent. I understand discontent and finally, today, I decided that I am no longer going to fight it. I gave him my blessings and wished him well. So, I am preparing for having my son, after his 18th birthday, move to Midland to live with his new friends. Good luck my dear one, I love you and wish only the best for you.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
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4 comments:
Reading about your Justin soap opera plot turn I'm feeling like I do when someone talks to me about Desperate Housewives with me years removed from keeping up with that show's convoluted plots.
Why does Justin not want to finish his Senior year at Wink HS? How could he go to Midland HS? Don't you have to be a legit resident? I thought Justin was/is a Wink HS football star.
Is the boy suffering some teenage hormonal overload thing?
You sound remarkably calm about this plot twist. Is the boy still planning a post HS roadtrip to California? And what became of the antique Louisiana Mustang?
Well, after two knee surgeries, we're just not quite sure about his ability to play ball. With that being said, going from super star jock to...well, uh...this is West Texas, nothing else really matters.
No, I don't think he suffers from Hormonal overload, like a lot of people think. I believe that he and I are relatively the same, in that, we're kinda lost in this little town. Acceptance is such a huge deal amongst teenagers. I, myself, hit nonacceptance full frontal assault style when I was moved here with mommy and daddy as a junior. When I say, I understand discontentment, I truly can empathize.
I'm only calm, because I know I have instilled my son with the ability to determine right from wrong, to seek justice, to be courageous, to be trustworthy, to be respectful...with basically everything he needs to survive out there on his own. Would I have liked for him to finish his senior year at home? Yeah, I would of, but I'm not unreasonable.
His Bio Dad stole the trip, by promising cotton candy dreams and roads filled with Mustangs. Never fear, The Queen is making it her royal mission and with a few faithful knights, said Mustang will be a permanent fixture in West Texas by the end of August.
This really tugs at me. The mother of a sole child, a son. A headstrong son who left the path I had predetermined for him. It turned out fine and I'm glad I didn't turn those early decisions into a showdown. Let him go. With a blessing. He'll be fine. If you're lucky, you'll have the delight one day of a grandchild who thinks you the fountain of all things wise. Look forward, not back.
Dear Anon,
You don't know what joy your words bring to me...thank you.
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