Sunday, August 8, 2010

Loathsome Creature By Toni Etier Dedicated To BP

Come now, let's not be complacent. So what...they capped the leak, finally...after how long? A few months? Ruined a few beaches, killed a few animals, destroyed the livelihood of several families, paid off a few claims, cleaned up a little bit, BUT...don't forget...BP is a loathsome uncaring creature. Fixed on profit REGARDLESS the harm and disdain DONE TO others.

Although Toni did not compose this poem with BP in mind I couldn't help but picture British Petroleum as I read it. Relish the vivid description of an industry allowed to flow amok without a care for others in the world. As we all just sit back and breathe in and swallow this nauseous crap!


So full of self, this creature flowed,

spilling nauseous crap as if it were gold,

twisted views of self worth and of measure,

droning on and on for self pleasure.

Cast your eye with distaste, loathsome creature,

placate your pride with self-righteous favor,

lose your humanity, if ever it was,

to judgement and ego and manufactured buzz.

Captured, your audience by circumstance or choice,

grace us, sweet creature, with your indulgent banter,

impress us, loathsome creature, with your witted candor.

So, loathsome creature in your view it would seem,

fortune reins down on those sat at your knee.

Cast your runes, and spin your tales,

no breath in sight for good sense to prevail.

***alternate ending

(Your ego is rooted, your mind made up,

all that is left to say, now is ...

Shut the fuck up.)

Toni E.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Another One Bites The Dust...Zumanity

I bet you're wondering if the show Zumanity fared better than Believe. Hmmm...since they were both produced by Cirque du Soleil...not much better. If you are not familiar with Soleil's theme, basically it's interesting people dressed in interesting and colorful costumes performing some pretty incredible feats. And maybe I shouldn't stereotype all of their shows, considering I have only witnessed about four different ones. But somehow, the four different ones all seemed to have a common theme...freakish at times dressed outlandish over the top performers.

Zumanity focused on the "sexual" nature of people. The ring master was a transvestite/cross dresser. Not really sure, didn't ask...a guy dressed in drag. You know what I've notice about performing transvestites? A lot of them make themselves up to look like Liza did the ring master of the Zumanity show.

There were a pair of chunky twins dressed provocatively, a couple that was a mix of the fifties and the seventies that touted themselves to be sex therapists and a true to life man whore. The man whore was very funny and kinda cute. He managed to make his way throughout the audience, I believe he even made it up to where the girls and I were sitting. He ran his hands across our legs...naughty man.

Those were your main characters that kept reappearing throughout the show. The program resembled circus acts except the characters were scantily clad and the clowns told sexual jokes. That was the only difference. So, if you enjoy circus performers (trapeze artists, acrobats...) and you like for them to be topless at the same time or have their rumps showing, well...then this is the show for you.

My favorite parts? There were a pair of lovely ladies swimming in a gigantic fish bowl performing some amazing water acrobatics and balancing on the rim of the bowl. That was very impressive and quite beautiful. I also enjoyed when audience members were embarrassed thoroughly by the ring master and sex therapists. The funniest moment of the evening came towards the end when a guy sitting behind us exclaimed..."Oh my God! That chick is a guy!"

Criss Angel Believe At The Luxor

Previously I mentioned a couple of shows and exhibits that the girls and I attended. I was not allowed to take pictures at any of these events. Well, no one was allowed not just me. I also mentioned attending two night clubs, again...wasn't allowed to take pictures. So, the more interesting things about Vegas I couldn't take pictures of. All I can do is paint you a picture with my words. We'll see how that goes!

The first show we attended was Believe, which featured A&E's favorite magician...Criss Angel. To be honest, I preferred the show on A&E and not his stage production. It was cute...I know, me categorizing Criss' show as cute? The Mind Freak? But it was.

Another confession...I just wanted to get in the same room with Criss, that's all. I accomplished that. Now whether Criss realized I was in the same room with him that I can't be for sure about. His show opened with four or five "clown" type fellas. One was extremely short and did some pretty funny Criss Angel impressions.

After several minutes of the joking around, Criss came on stage. He talked about growing up, learning his favorite tricks, his bunny and other things. He mentioned filming the sixth season of Mind Freak and having a party the next week in Vegas.

If you have ever viewed the show, you would know that Criss levitated over the Luxor. A video of that was shown. Honestly...the whole performance in Vegas seemed to be an advertisement for his show on A&E. C'est Dommage.

Shake, Rattle And Roll...The Elevator Ride

Accommodations at the Luxor left me with a strangeness that I will just have to explain. The slant of the building because of it's pyramid shape led to strange elevator rides. Since I'm an early riser no matter what time I go to bed I always got the morning coffee from the Starbucks down in the hotel lobby. In case you're curious...there were two Starbucks in the hotel.

On one of my early morning return coffee trips I waited patiently outside the elevator. Just waiting for it to come down. It seemed to take a bit longer than usual, but the doors finally opened. A family, wife, daughter and son. It was the son's face, maybe a boy of 8 years or so, that caught my attention. He was stricken with horror, cheeks wet with tears.

I notice kids. I suppose from the the few years of teaching my observational awareness of children in distress has increased.

I asked if he were okay, he couldn't even speak...his little legs and arms started to tremble. Mom then spoke up and stated that the power in the elevator went out, it had stopped moving and they had been trapped for a good fifteen minutes in the dark. Trapped, until someone pushed the down button to catch the elevator.

I listened as Dad called the management and expressed his disdain for their elevator. I stood out there for ten or maintenance still AWOL. Hopefully they showed at some point. I entered the elevators on the opposite wall and crossed my toes, since my fingers held coffee. Although the ride reminded me of an Elvis Presley song....shake, rattle and roll...mission accomplished, I arrived on the 25th floor, the girls' coffees in hand.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Not Being Allowed To Sleep In Vegas

Usually when I fly I check luggage. I do this so as to not worry about what I have in my suitcase. This time however, I chose to only do carry on. This was extremely difficult. First off, I am a woman and require many changes of clothes and matching shoes for each outfit. After filling my bag with four dresses, three pairs of pants, three pairs of shoes, my makeup bag, hot iron...I no longer had any room for toiletries. And besides, the rule is that all liquids must be in three ounce bottles, of which I had none.

I thought I would just purchase my toiletries and such when I arrived in Vegas. That was a really awful idea. First off, I would have to purchase these items from a store within the hotel because I did not have access to a car. This would mean limited choices and of course high prices. A tiny bottle of shampoo, a small can of shaving cream, a minute roll on deodorant and a minuscule tube of toothpaste rang up to twenty three dollars! Yikes!

Leaving Midland airport at 4:30PM had me arriving in Vegas at 10:30PM. No, it normally doesn't take that long on a direct flight, but I apparently did not have a direct flight. I never exited the plane at any of the stops. I stayed on while others exited and boarded...twice. Yuck!

I really and truly thought that my girl friends would allow me to unpack my belongings in the hotel room and then take a shower and head off to bed. I was mistaken. I was informed that no one sleeps in Vegas. I really had no idea.

The girls booked us a room at the Luxor. It was fairly nice and also home to the Cris Angel show, Believe, which we had tickets to Saturday night's performance. We also had tickets to Zumanity, the Titantic and Bodies exhibits and admission to two night clubs...the LAX and the Cat House. More on all that later.

To Vegas Or Not To Vegas

In a few days, my summer vacation will come to an abrupt end. No longer will I sleep in late, stay in my pajamas, sip coffee watching the sunrise. No, those days of bliss will soon fade into oblivion only to be replaced with early mornings of dressing hurriedly, scrambling eggs and guzzling coffee instead.

But before I rush into the new school year, let me close this summer properly by first apologizing to my friend Mrs. Cummings. Yes, she informed me that I lacked in my blogging duties over the summer...hey, what can I say? I was on summer break :-)

I got an invite a few weeks ago to go to Vegas...all expenses paid. How many of you would turn down such an offer? Over the past twenty years of my life, I have put myself in precarious situations. Living a most curious life filled with the acceptance of invitations that others would deem strange, but these RSVPs have proved to be by far some of the the most deliciously satisfying moments of my life.

Vegas...a friend commented that it's not like any other place on Earth. I possibly can't make that claim, seeing as I have not visited every place there is to visit on this big blue planet, but I will respond with affirmation that I encountered a most lively culture and also a scene that wears thin quickly.

I spent three nights and four days in Sin City. Heard the phrase, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" hundreds of times. Played way too many slot machines (which after you play one...they're pretty much all the same). And walked my little feet off.

Tomorrow I'll fill you in on packing for the trip and arriving late on a Friday night. For now, I'm back to reality....clothes to wash, beans to soak and yards to water...ain't life grand?