Gifts For Madden

A little boy woke this morning without the hug of his mother. A mother and father wonder how they will go on. A question raised of how this little boy, Madden...will know just how special and loving a mother he possessed.

A picture of Karah shared illustrates passion in her eyes, warmth in her smile and a loving kindness in her presence as all whom knew her partook in. Forced to accept a finality so sudden that it leaves us all numb, dumbfounded and without words.

The pain unfathomable. The grief unmeasurable. The same questions will be asked tomorrow and the day after as the surreal becomes all too real. Hold onto those beautiful places in time with Karah. Share your fondest memories of her. Wrap them in love and compassion. Give these gifts to Madden, so he will always know.

Recovering, Relaxing and Rethinking

I haven't felt like blogging much lately. I usually blog about the things I do and see. Seeing that I am pretty much housebound I have not seen much lately. Why am I housebound? Surgery. Yes, a couple of weeks ago I underwent a major minor surgery. Only a handful of my closest friends know the exact procedure, but it does require a few weeks of very limited activity.

What's a person to do while stuck in the house with only the ability to ambulate a few steps and lift very light objects? Read. Being on pain numbing medication limits my reading ability or I should say my endurance. The words on the page mixed with codeine tends to send me off to slumber quite often.

What's my next option? Watching movies. After about ten movies, well...I'm quite movied out. Then what? Talking on the phone. My poor poor poor friends. I should say that I am quite certain that they are definitely tired of my calling.

I have completed four puzzles, looked out the window a few hundred times, washed all the clothes I could find, dusted everything in sight...facebooked until I am blue in the face and now here I am writing the most uninteresting blog possible.

My Blue Eyes... Toni Etier

The written word is beautiful to me. When those words are in music, a book or a poem...I must listen. I seek out lyrics and the meanings in between. A while back I blogged about a band and within that band is a drummer. And this drummer has a very special girlfriend. You may remember her smiling face in one of my pictures. Below is a poem that she composed:

My Blue Eyes

my blue eyes betray my thoughts,

they casually drop my secrets like gossip.

my blue eyes sometimes lie for me...

though seldom do they try.

my blue eyes deceive you still,

as honest as they are...

you don't see,

too wrapped up in yourself...

no thoughts of me.

my blue eyes see your heart,

they know your soul.

words....

glance...

words...

nothing.

my blue eyes patiently wait,

they search you for me.

my blue eyes...

close.



Toni Etier

Red White And Blue

I don't have enormous plans for the fourth. I do know that this is the very first fourth since I've been a mommy that my children will not be with me. My youngest is on the Coast with my mommy and daddy and my eldest is spending the weekend with his girlfriend and her family. So, I'm alone. Being alone reminds me of that poem of the lone rider that brought the message that most of us associate with our independence day.

I'm sure you know the one where the man rides his horse to announce the coming of something rather important.

"A cry of defiance, and not of fear—
A voice in the darkness, a knock at the door,
And a word that shall echo forever-more;
For borne on the night wind of the past,
Through all our history to the last,
In the hour of darkness and peril and need,
The people will waken and listen to hear
The hurrying hoof beats of that steed, "

Long before that night, our nation had been conceived. In pubs and taverns, farmhouses and churches, town halls and public squares...whisperings of what's not fair and change that's needed. Lines were drawn and divisions were born. Loyalists and Patriots, Liberals and Conservatives, the haves and have nots...time has not changed those attitudes, they're still present today.

Generations of contempt have been born. The divisions are too deeply embedded. Differences can not be put aside even for a day. But let's pretend anyway. Fire up the grill, slap on the steaks. Fly the flag and pop the works. Beat your chests and shed that single tear. Smile and be polite have no fear. Kiss and hug your family tight, forget about that fight.