As I drove home from work yesterday, after a grueling weekend of suffering from stomach sickness, as smile reached across my face arcing into the biggest upturned semi-circle one could imagine. That day I chose to accept the principal's offer of working out during my conference period with a class of the boys. I wasn't sure what to expect, but to my surprise they were well mannered, lighthearted, courteous, and completely disarming. I also agreed that the next day, today, I would take them for mile run, and I did.
Driving home yesterday, Knocking On Heaven's Door played on the radio. I turned it up, belted out the words and experienced a complete and utter satisfaction of being in my skin and my world. The song is more suggestive of a dying experience, but for me the song took on another connotation, one of knocking on heaven's door because of the full potential of my life being released.
Sure, I have two broken down lawn mowers and my grass needs cutting. I have accumulated debt that I'm slowly working through. The master's program isn't a reality for me this year. My employment will end next August. My vehicle is fifteen years old and rattles down the highway. But even with the added strife...I'm still singing.
As the lead guitar solo soulfully sings out it's song to me from the bluesy melody, I felt uplifted and alive. As Annie and I begin to clear the ground for the prairie, discarding the unwanted items, it seems to smack of pulling the same out of our lives, finding out what hindered our growth.
Holding onto broken reality, broken things, broken relationships...we're now releasing these fetters and seeking a new reality, new things and new relationships. It's okay to change, adapt and try something new...and that's where we are.
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