Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Mind Racing All Over the Place in Wink Texas

I haven't blogged in a few days because of the arrival of an out of town guest. The guest left early Sunday, but I still hadn't gotten around to posting anything. The main reason for lack of blogging seems not to be lack of subject, but too many subjects crowding my mind.

I related to Durango (someone whom I think I know, but really don't) that my ex hubby went back to Denver. He commented to me that he thought he hailed from Seattle. I gave him a quick run down of my ex's...he thought there were four, but actually only three. He also made a quirky little comment about wanting to know if the Winkites referred to me as the Liz Taylor of Wink. I don't think they do, but I admitted honestly that I normally don't listen to what other's say about me. I used to... a long time ago, everything used to hurt my feelings, but over time I've developed thick skin.

I used to feel that when people talk or gossip about you, they were jealous, but I'm not of that opinion much anymore. I just think some people feel they're superior to others. I also just think that some people are downright mean and spiteful.

For instance, I decided in January of this year to transform myself into the best physical shape of my adult life. I've worked incredibly hard and met with substantial success. I started in a size 10 and now wearing a size 4. Several people commented that I must be doing this to snag a new man. That never crossed my mind. I blogged recently about masculinity and almost immediately several of my friends (not the kind fellows that commented) wanted to know who my new man was.

Admitting recently to someone that I hardly know, that I tend to rush into things concerning matters of the heart...I've decided to slow down a bit, a whole lot in fact. My track record proves I can commit, but I suppose I've committed to the wrong ones or for the wrong reasons. Does this make me a weak person? Am I a less valued member of society because I'm working on my third divorce? Do people around me, think badly of me due to my failed marriages? Are there people that call me a three time loser? I'm sure there are plenty of people who think these things.

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