Rush - Nobody's Hero Ghost Rider Travels on the Healing Road

When I heard you were gone, I felt a shadow cross my heart.

Chapter 6 of Ghost Rider, by Neil Peart, left one with a feeling of melancholy, as we read about Neil's continued spiral into loneliness, and although his travels take him to more populace areas within the United States, the feeling of not connecting grows stronger.

To top it off, Neil's best friend, Brutus, caught trafficking drugs lands in jail. This incident becomes a tremendous set back for Neil as he was supposed to meet Brutus in a few days for some companionship.

We also discover that Neil clamors over writers of long ago, such as Jack London and Scott Fitzgerald. When visiting London's old homestead, he acknowledges the futility of death, "They (London and his wife Charmian) loved each other, did cool stuff together, but that didn't keep him alive. Or her, for that matter, though she lived on alone for many years."

We recognize that the quote doesn't just describe London, but it foreshadows Neil's possible future...a very long life, alone without Jackie.

I chose just to do some simple journal writing with the students of West Texas State School. A basic question, "What happened in Chapter 6 that caused Neil to suddenly become sad." The answer, Brutus gets locked up. The question that required some thought, "Do you agree with Neil that the world is a sad, sad place?" Explain.

I got varied responses for the second question, but one reflective response stood out among the rest, "How can you measure the sadness of the world? His sadness comes from his experience, but I don't feel that the world itself is a sad place. Shit happens, and then you deal with it. If you choose to shut down and give up, then you might as well just die, what's the point to continue on in your sadness? I'm locked up, but I got to make the most of it. Maybe I'll just fake it to make it or maybe I'll learn something and change myself, I'm not sure yet."

Wink's Children and Their Ongoing Relationship With Scottish Rite

This is Keegan Ratliff pictured with his kitty and his sister, Johnna. Keegan, diagnosed with Fibular Hemimelia, underwent his first surgery at Scottish Rite Hospital for Children at nine months. He received his first leg prosthesis on his first birthday. As Keegan grows he'll need to get a new prosthesis every nine to thirteen months. Keegan just received a new Spongebob prosthetic leg on his second birthday. Wendy, Keegan's mom, says he doesn't miss a beat, that he's into everything and doesn't know any different. Wendy also commented that when it comes time for swimming he wants to take off both legs! The entire family is very grateful for Scottish Rite Hospital and wouldn't know what they would have done without the hospital.
Kolton, another two year old of Wink, stands with a bright smile and blissfully tells me that he likes policemen, firetrucks, Elmo, Winnie the Pooh and Handy Manny. Kolton, a patient of Scottish Rite Hospital, was diagnosed at birth with Amniotic Band Syndrome, which affected his fingers and toes. He had his first surgery at four months and just recently experienced another surgery in June. He'll undergo a third surgery sometime in October or November of this year. Amanda, Kolton's mom, said that the next surgery will give Kolton the ability to grip, but that he can already throw a baseball pretty darn good!

Bree Montoya, a very shy eleven year old attending Wink Elementary, stood smiling telling us she loves Hannah Montana and is excited about meeting her fifth grade teachers. Bree developed bunions on her feet and underwent surgery prior to finding help at Scottish Rite Hospital. Misty, Bree's mom, glowingly related their experience at Scottish Rite, from the loving atmosphere to the very nice security guard, Ron. As Misty talked, she became teary eyed, I knew then that Scottish Rite meant a lot to this family. Misty said that the doctor at Scottish Rite said that Bree was a pretty little girl with old women's feet, but that was soon to be a distant memory.

Wink will be hosting the 1st Annual CO-ED Slow Pitch Softball Tournament to benefit Scottish Rite Hospital for Children. This event will take place on August 1st and 2nd. We have availability for eight more teams, so make sure you sign up! Interested teams can contact Bud Medina, local organizer, 432-527-3468. If you'd like to make a charitable donation you can mail that to: Scottish Rite Fund, P O BOX 733, Wink, TX, 79789.
You can also make donations to Scottish Rite online via their website.

Getting Lost and Hitch Hiking in FT Davis

Annie and I, feeling a bit stir crazy, decided on a day of hiking in the Ft Davis Mountains. Normally a trip to Ft Davis only takes an hour and forty minutes, but we opted on stopping in Balmorhea to take a few pictures and collect an assortment of souvenirs. My daughter's idea of souvenirs are wildflowers for pressing, odd shaped rocks and pieces of wood.

We found one of each in Balmorhea and took plenty of pictures for our scrapbook. Nothing beats an old fashioned scrapbook with cool designs and secret fold outs chocked full of tiny little treasures. A trip to Balmorhea usually involves fishing, but since the fish haven't bitten well and the patience of an eight year wears thin, we decided on hiking only.

On the way into Balmorhea we stopped to get some beef jerky from the Laird Ranch. They have different varieties to choose from, such as mild, spicy and really spicy, just to name a few. We stuck with our usual of mild. Once in the picturesque town of Balmorhea we took several pictures of the iron works, water wheel, cool looking trees and the pretty little gazebo.



Today would mark my 7th hiking trip to Ft Davis, so feeling rather confident, I didn't bother with picking up a map. The hike began well, the temperature a bit on the high side, but overall, a cradle rocking breeze aided in cooling things off nicely. The elevation change within the park is only about 1,000 feet, which isn't much compared to other mountains, but it presented itself enough of a challenge for myself and Annie. Annie of course had questions about wild animals, such as bears and cougars. I assured her that I'd only seen deer, hawks and javelinas in the past and have never run across any of those other beasts. She still wanted to practice her escaping bears and cougars technique by climbing a tree as quickly as she could. (which wasn't very quick...she'd be bear cub food for sure)

The hike was going pretty well, we'd only stopped for about eight shade and water breaks, but I could tell that little Annie was getting a bit tired and grumpy. The trail ended at an scenic overlook which you had to go back down and have a choice of going back the way you came, a bike trail, or another pedestrian trail. Since the rocks had been very loose and a bit difficult to traverse we opted for the bike trail thinking it would be more accommodating and manageable. Now, the bike trail wasn't marked or warned that if taken it would lead you a mile and a half away from the park, down to the high way, nor did it state anything about if you have an extremely exhausted child you shouldn't take this trail. After walking for almost another forty five minutes, the trail ended at the park boundary blocked by a metal gate with the highway on the other side. We climbed the fence and proceeded to walk the high way up the road back to the park entrance. By this time, my grumpy child had turned into a very grumpy child and demanded that we hitch hike. Since I aim to please...we did just that. Thank goodness, a sweet lady named Jan and her little boy, Stevie, in a mini van strolled by. I hadn't realized I'd left the video camera running...below is the life saving ride back to the park. Very, very grateful.

The Mystery of the Durango...solved

Sources have revealed that Durango is actually a 15 year old teenage boy living in Houston. I know, it's rather disappointing, but now this mystery can be put to rest...

Since this revelation, it will no longer be necessary for me to take a side trip to Ft Worth, instead I'll be going to Turner Falls in Oklahoma to see my very first water fall.


Since Durango can no longer access my blog, I think this is the perfect opportunity to tell ya'll how I came to be involved with the mystery of Durango. It all started with a simple question back in February on Face Book. He wasn't one of my friends at the time, but a friend of Gar the Texan, whom was my friend in high school. Durango was trying to figure out what in the world poking was on Face Book, seems that he was a bit new to it and all, and since I knew all about it, I made a deal with Durango that if he added me as a friend...I'd tell him all I knew about the subject. He added me and then I taught him the fine art of poking, although he's never poked me. Maybe a little while longer, he found out that I have a blog, I'm thinking it happened when I made a comment on one of his postings, but I can't be for sure.

Although I've been corresponding and reading Durango since February I still don't know much about him. I do know that he sleepwalks. I also know that he likes to travel. I'm not quite sure what he looks like, I know of a little old lady he helped out in Texas by blogging about a sweet little festival that her town was putting on. The little old lady sent Durango a tee shirt in gratitude, and he blogged about it and took photos of himself wearing the shirt, but really...he could have had someone else wearing the shirt. He's as mysterious as the Stonehenge, that's not the real Stonehenge you see but a replica on the UTPB campus in Odessa, Texas. I'll be out in Dallas, near Ft Worth, in August. I do know that Ft Worth is where Durango resides. I'm thinking that I'm gonna solve this mystery soon.

HCG Diet Update Weight Eradication

Normally I do the diet update on Thursday, but I've been a bit busy. I usually blog in the evenings after work, dinner and family time, but since I've started running...the running has replaced my blogging time.

I've noticed quite a few people have been searching for information on the HCG Diet. It works, BUT...only if you're disciplined and willing to change your lifestyle. Which that's what eradicating weight is all about, changing one's lifestyle, permanently.

If you've dieted on and off for years like me, and you've worked out on and off for years, like me...then I'm sure you have some bad habits, like me. I had to totally change my reasons for eating.

Before you start the HCG diet, I recommend reading several books. The first book is the Sugar Busters book. This book will explain the glycemic index of all foods. It fully explains which foods immediately turn to sugar in the body which creates fat reserves. By only eating foods that are low on the glycemic index you'll drop weight rather quickly. Of course you'll be eliminating foods such as potatoes, corn, breaded foods and refined sugars.

Another book that was extremely helpful was the South Beach Diet book. This book gives you a daily eating guide, wonderful recipes, and it goes hand in hand with the Sugar Busters book. It guides you to select complex carbohydrates and proteins. It helps to retrain your attitude towards food.

The last book is a bit more controversial, but I found the information in it fascinating and well researched. Kevin Trudeau's Natural Cures book has taken a host of harsh reviews, but there's some very good information in it. Basically, once you get past his aversion to government, the book tells you to eliminate three ingredients from your shopping list: Partially Hydrogenated Oils, Enriched, bleached flour and High Fructose Corn Syrup.

I suggest before you spend $600 - $1000 dollars on the HCG diet, that you read these three books, which will cost you less than $25 to purchase. Put some of the suggestions into action and I know that you'll immediately drop twenty pounds. The HCG Diet is extremely restrictive, the diet only allows you 500 calories per day, from a small list of foods. If you've never done anything like that before, you need to practice first.

The HCG diet does work, but if you don't adhere to the strict guidelines you will put weight on. I started the diet in April, and did a course of 28 days. During that 28 days, I went from a size 12 to a size 8. I had to wait for 45 days before I could do a second round. I started the second round somewhere in June. The second time around I went from the size 8 to a size four.

Post Katrina Creates a Whole New Meaning of Making the Bed

I was speaking with my cousin and his wife last night on the phone. They live in Lutcher, LA. I'll be meeting them in August for a hair band reunion over in Dallas. I haven't seen my cousin since Katrina. It's funny how most people are measuring time now with Katrina.

I lived on the coast for the majority of my childhood, moved away in the late 80's then returned in the early 90's. I experienced a few minor hurricanes, some flooding and a whole bunch of Mardi Gras, but...I've never seen the type of devastation that Katrina left.

There's been a lot of progress cleaning up in Louisiana, but not as much in Mississippi. I guess I'm waiting for things to get completely back to normal before I head down there.

My cousin shared the cutest anecdote with me about how Katrina had affected he and his wife. His home, being north of Baton Rouge withstood the storm, but the relatives on the West Bank and in the Garden District didn't do swell. He and his wife welcomed them with open arms. He had his grandma, mom & dad, his sister and their kids and a few other people packed into their home.

Only his wife was able to return to work straight away, all the rest were stuck in doors all day. Considering the days turned into weeks, some husbandly duties were being woefully neglected. He said they'd never been that big on making the bed, always left it a mess. One day, his wife came home from work, she stomped in and demanded why he hadn't made the bed today.

He sat in wonderment as his lovely wife read him the riot act over not making the bed. He was a bit uncomfortable, all the family looking on, and couldn't figure out what he'd done wrong. He thought that with a house full of people the stress must have surely gotten to her, so when she insisted on him aiding her in the process of bed making, he politely obliged.

He walked into the bedroom, and behind him he heard the door shut and then lock. He spun around to find his wife half undressed saying, "Now, let's make the bed!"

1st Annual Scottish Rite Hospital Softball Tournament in Wink, Texas

Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children treats Texas children with orthopedic conditions, such as scoliosis, clubfoot, hand disorders, hip disorders and limb length differences, as well as certain related neurological disorders and learning disorders, such as dyslexia.

The hospital was established in 1921 when a group of Texas Masons approached Dallas’ first orthopedic surgeon Dr. W. B. Carrell about caring for children regardless of the family’s ability to pay, that mission continues today. It's through generous donations and community support that allow this giving spirit to thrive.

More than not, most of us fail to recognize the importance of supporting these types of charitable organizations. That realization hit home today after finding out that five children in Wink have undergone surgery at the hospital and continue to receive treatments.

It's been thrown around for some time to have a benefit where the proceeds collected would be donated to the Scottish Rite Hospital. Finally, that day has come.

Wink will be hosting the 1st Annual CO-ED Slow Pitch Softball Tournament to benefit Scottish Rite Hospital for Children. This event will take place on August 1st and 2nd. We only have space for 20 teams, so make sure you register by July 30th. Interested teams can contact Bud Medina, local organizer, 432-527-3468. If you'd like to make a charitable donation you can mail that to: Scottish Rite Fund, P O BOX 733, Wink, TX, 79789.

It Only Takes a Spark to Get a Fire Going

Just a couple more weeks until the boys of summer are out of school. I've enjoyed summer school, and moreover I've sensed that the boys are loving it as well. Sure, there are a few resistant souls and as my boss says, "They're stuck on stupid".

We're still reading Ghost Rider by Neil Peart, the drummer from Rush, but we took a break to TAKS test and credit exam. The education program received glowing reports from Austin today in a management meeting with TYC. There's some resistance to the boys experiencing success, but I can tell you from observing...this whole learning thing; it's catching on.

Some of the boys stand a little taller, shoulders back and a strut to their stride. It's not because of winning a pissing contest, but it's from having accomplished something worthwhile. As these new graduates walk the halls, with that spark in their eye, others are seeing it and catching on fire. That fire smoulders against tarnished dreams and years of apathy and unrest, but slowly the fire is fanned and the red embers glow...soon these sparks spring into an eternal flame.

One by one the boys enter the chambers of education, and ask sheepishly, "What do I need to do?" We smile and with a gleam in our eyes...impart that knowledge fully.

Unsettling Fascism in FT Worth

Lately I've been hearing about the troubles of Ft Worth. I hadn't paid much attention, I was thinking the complaints were just the ramblings of some intellectual hot body that had nothing better to do with his time. Since I adore mysteries and hot bodies, I decided to read a bit more about the woes of Ft Worth. It seems that only 6% of the total voting population showed up to cast their vote and do something about the current ruling party. I posed a question to Mr. Durango of either fear or apathy? I have yet to receive an answer.

About 22 years ago a family of four moved from the very backward deep South to Wink, Texas. Upon their tiresome arrival, greeted by twiney tumble weeds and swirling sand storms, they settled and tried to become a part of this itty bitty West Texas town. The oldest child was poked fun of because of her Southern drawl and for the fact that she didn't listen to country music. She was almost lynched one day when asked of George Strait elicited her sheepish reply, "George who?"

Things were rolling along quite well for that obtuse family of four. Apparently, according to the town fathers, they weren't the sharpest crayons in the box, but the mommy and the daddy did know that marking official ballots in pencil was a big no no. A big stink was made and the umbrage began. That newest family of four became the biggest pains in the butt for that itty bitty West Texas town. The mommy got herself on some sort of official precinct board, rules were enforced and that became a catalyst for a whole new way of doing things.

Instead of the school board demanding the teachers vote a certain way, the teachers now could vote anyway they wanted. Instead of distinguished members of town carrying the ballot box home and returning it the next day with votes accounted for, the counting was done at the polling place under the supervision of several officials, oh yeah, and now the little paper ballots are no more, punch cards have taken their place.

It may have been unpleasant for that little family of four, they got their fair share of threats and dirty looks, but in the end justice prevailed. That little family of four stood alone in the beginning, but over time people joined the rank and file. They were tired of being denied their rights, of being overcharged for water, of being fined for some ridiculous city ordinance when their opinion was in direct opposition to the town fathers.

Take heart Ft Worth and heed the old man's ramblings. He seems to know what he's talking about.

Revolutionary Road The Stark Truth

I rented Revolutionary Road, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, based on the novel of the same name by Richard Yates. DiCaprio and Winslet play Frank and April Wheeler, a suburbanite couple in their early thirties. The opening scene shows April trying to perform in a local play; The Petrified Forest. If you know anything about this 1930's drama, you'll recognize the irony immediately. Both Revolutionary Road and The Petrified Forest have lead males who's characters
lives are dull and stagnant.

I had to pick a time that I was truly ready to view this movie, from the trailers I sensed an ultimate premonition of no blissful ending. Please don't read this if you intend on viewing the movie, because I intend to fully disclose what happens.

After the failed performance by April, she and Frank drive home and she pierces Frank's heart with these words, "How can you say that you're even a man?" Previously, I blogged about men just not being men, conformed to a societal capitalistic society they live out a dreary married existence because that's what's expected. Usually this mundane life leads to infidelity, alcoholism or other such vices and eventually divorce.

What most people don't realize, is the sedentary meaningless lifestyle causes the woman's spirit to perish, as well; maybe not all women, but the one's with half a brain. It's apparent that both April and Frank need something, but they're unable to communicate, to get back where they started. After the you're not a man comment, Frank does have an affair, to feel like a man. April, on the other hand, tries to figure out how she and Frank can survive and live once again. She approaches Frank with the idea of selling the house, taking their savings and the kids and transplanting themselves in Paris. At first, Frank is stunned, then gradually he comes around to the idea and agrees. After the decision is made, Frank and April make love (I'll have to note that the love making was dismal, I really thought after the exhilaration of the decision that there would have been ecstasy on screen)

Frank with his renewed spirit, treats work like a hobby. He makes outlandish suggestions, glosses over his work, but in the apathy, he catches the eye of upper management and they offer him a promotion, with more money and this is where we see the escape plan begin to unravel. The trap is sprung and Frank, lured by power and promises of lucrative deals, no longer wants to escape. It was at this point in the movie, I already knew how it was going to end.


Luckily for Frank, April ends up pregnant. He uses that as an excuse to not go to Paris. April suggests an abortion, Frank is livid. The antagonist in the movie is John, a mathematician who has suffered a nervous break down. John speaks only truth. Everyone around him are busy saying they're sorry, playing house and getting the life sucked out of them.

At the moment that Frank decides they're not going to Paris, April's spirit has perished. Once the spirit dies, the body is not long after. She represses the grief, becomes silent, falls into the mundane routine of life. Hopelessness abounds, but you're looking at her wondering why can't she just be happy. The stark reality is that April knows Frank will never truly be happy or fulfilled at his job. You might not think this is a big deal, but it is. A wife can only be fully joyous, if her husband is completely satisfied.

Frank tries to talk to her, but April doesn't want to talk anymore. She's just going to play house, sit back and let life go by without her. Oh, sure, she'll make dinner, tend to the kids, clean house, but she'll no longer be her husband's best friend. She knows that she will never be able to fully connect with him again. Frank pushes the envelope, he wants to fix what's wrong with her, but it can no longer be fixed. The moment the dream was taken away, the escape route foiled, April had to stifle every feeling. She had a momentary lapse, but was able to get away by herself.

She stood in the stark woods, minuscule against the trees, eyes blank, total despair. How does she cope with this? You let go, you no longer feel anything, you pretend everything is fine, smile and be polite, say thank you, fold the clothes, make breakfast...you become emotionally detached.
Why did Frank do it? Frank felt comfy in the old familiar hopeless emptiness. He felt safe hiding behind his wife's maternity dress, that way he'd never have to find out what he's really made of.

Total chaos ensued, followed with I don't love you, I loathe the sight of you. Pure rage and anger for each other illustrated. The words are out there and they can never be forgotten. But, she'll pretend that nothing happened the next morning. She'll wake early and fix him his morning coffee, smile politely and repress the emotions, angst and pain. He'll wonder how everything was fixed. He'll go to work not suspecting a thing.

See, the spirit died, and as always the body is not long after. Frank had a chance to save her, to save himself, to save them, but he was unwilling to take that risk. April was more than adequate to do what needed to be done, she needed to glow in Frank's fulfillment and happiness, that's what a help mate truly is.

Church Going Chicken

I partook of the ritual of dinner with my mommy and daddy which included special guests from the Gulf Coast of Mississippi. No, we didn't have shrimp, my Grandma Ann and Aunt Tooie drove out to Wink for a visit. Grandma Ann tells some of the funniest stories and I just love listening to her anecdotes. She told one about going up to Wiggins to visit Po Po's old place, I believe a great uncle resides there now, but I can't be for sure, I haven't been down that way in about 7 years.

Seems that while she was up there, in Wiggins, a certain white chicken going through molting, scratched around on an old clay hill. Some of you may know about Mississippi red clay, well, for those of you who don't the brightly colored clay stains anything it comes into contact with. This particular white chicken without most of her feathers, was now covered in the red clay and looked a disaster. The owners told my Grandma Ann they were just gonna kill it, but she refused to let them and took the poor, wretched chicken home with her.

The pretty ugly chicken became a yard pet and followed around my Grandma Ann, I think the chicken knew she owed her life to Grandma. On Sunday, Grandma Ann walked to church, across a field and under a fence, unbeknown to her the chicken had followed her to church. The poor old ugly red clay stained missing feather thing caused a great commotion, standing outside the church doors clucking for my grandma.

That story about church then led into a discussion about all sorts of things pertaining to the bible. I don't understand why my mommy and daddy would try to convince a woman of 70 plus years that what she believes is wrong. It's really pointless, sometimes you just got to make a conscience decision to accept a person just the way they are and stop worrying about how to change them, especially if that person is up in years.

The discussion started getting heated, that's when I excused myself and went to the ladies' room. Being the clueless blonde I am, I returned bee bopping back and said, "Mom, I really like how you moved that thingy from one wall to the other wall." Of course, since I hadn't been the least bit specific she had to go and check out what I was referring to. This caused a momentary reprieve in the heated discussion.

Thinking things had calmed down, I returned to the table only to find the discussion had diverted to something about not eating meat offered up to idols. Does anybody do that anymore? Where was this happening? Really, I have no idea what brought this on, I was only gone for a few minutes. I guess, if you eat meat that's offered up to idols, but you don't ask and you don't know, then you're okay; but...if you ask and you know and you still eat the meat, then you're in BIG trouble.

They all agreed that the meat we ate tonight, turkey Mignon, had been blessed and we were all okay. Mommy said something about having ordered it from Schwans. Well, being the Bug's Bunny stinker that I am, I just couldn't help myself. With a serious tone and straight face I asked, "You do know what Schwans stands for don't ya?" "Satan's Consorts Helping Win All Nonbelievers Succulently." (it was the best I could do under pressure)

The Dreambears: It's Raining Men - Britain's Got Talent 2009 - Semi-Final 5

I know that some people were making harsh comments about these fellows, but I tell ya what...they're smoking hott. Just the confidence and good humor to get on stage in front of all those people and pull off a performance like that makes me wanta smile all day. :)

Early Morning Rapping Sounds

I woke this morning earlier than usual to a rapping sound...thank goodness it wasn't a raven, I shall retain my sanity yet for one more day. The rapping sound revealed a young man outside my door, inquiring if my son was ready. My son, up at 6:30 on a Saturday morning? As I walked down the hallway towards his room, surprisingly I saw his light on and he scrambling to don clothes. It seems that my son has agreed to participate in a 7 on 7 benefit in Andrews, Texas. This benefit as I found out, is to help raise money for a young lady fighting cancer.

It's rather cool this morning, only about 72 degrees, which should make for a lovely day of playing 7 on 7 football. Hopefully last night's rain will not carry over into today and this outdoor benefit will get a chance to bring in needed funds. I also just received a call from a man inquiring if his wife was at my house. His wife? I don't think so, but I went outside to make sure she wasn't sitting in my driveway, nope...she's not.

My Grandma Ann, from what I've been told, is arriving today from Mississippi. Grandma Ann is a true Southern woman. In fact, everything I know about being gentile comes from her. When my grandpa was living, she doted on him with such tenderness. Always rising early to make his morning coffee and breakfast. He in turn was a bit sweet on her, singing her country love ballads and planting her favorite flowers. Thinking of the two of them always puts a smile on my face, but also tugs at my heartstrings. The music composed from the sweet repose of that lovely couple can not be compared to any other. To say that I'm looking forward to her visit is an understatement.

Do you know why most of us love Friday? I'm not going to say ALL of us, because then that would just be making an awful assumption. I'm thinking it's because Friday is named for the Norse goddess Frigg. Frigg was beautiful and kind, wife of the most powerful god, Odin, her job was to oversee love and marriage. And...did you know that 'frig' is a modern coarse euphemism for 'sex'? Friday is just full of goodness.

All kinds of good things happened to me today, on this day of Frigg. First of all, we had a luncheon at my place of employment, West Texas State School. A lady from North Canyon University came to speak with us teachers about furthering our education completely on line. Now, that's cool beans. The university offers a maters in something I've been wanting to do, Curriculum and Instruction with a specialization in technology. Maybe then I can learn how to make a real web page and not pretend like I do when I'm using a Face Book application.

The other really cool part about the master's program, is that the school that employs me will pay for the education. I also found out today, that since I have taught five years now for low income schools, I qualify for partial loan forgiveness.

When I got home today, I was contacted by a really sweet lady, whom I sometimes tutor in regards to using Adobe Creative Suite. I really have never used the program, but for some reason I can just get into something and get it figured out. I'm persistent. Some people find that scary, but others like it. She upgraded from CS2 to CS4. The newspaper uses CS2 and couldn't read the new CS4 files. What a dilemma! I tried talking to my sweet little lady on the phone, about what she could do, but at that point she was so frustrated and full of anxiety that I just had to go over and help her, so I did.

Before going over there, I received a visitor. I guess around town, I've got a reputation for being an animal lover (or maybe I'm just a sucker). A high schooler brought me a baby hawk that he found while cutting grass. I took the toddler in, put it in a box and proceeded to surf the net to find some information on how to take care of the little baby. The information I found most helpful was this:

"If you find a hawk or owl that is on the ground, do not assume that it needs help. If it is standing, alert, and has some feathers, the parents are probably nearby. It may also be learning to hunt by catching ground insects. If it hasn't moved by the next day, then something may be wrong."

I called the high schooler that brought me the hawk and inquired as to where he found it. He informed me that the not so nice lady that he was cutting grass for, made him remove the bird, because she didn't want hawks hanging out on her property. All the information I had read so far, indicated that we should put the bird back, but since the lady wouldn't allow it, I wasn't sure what to do. The continued reading revealed you had to know the species and be very careful. I did the only thing I could...call an expert. So, now the baby hawk is in the most capable hands of an ex park ranger and being very well taken care of.

HCG Diet Update and Weight Eradication in Wink Texas

Normally I would do the diet update on Thursday, but I experienced some setbacks this week, which goes to show ya, don't get too comfortable or take anything for granted.

I've done less weighing as I'm in the maintenance phase of the HCG Diet. Which means I'm no longer taking HCG and have bumped up my caloric intake to 800 calories per day. The eating seems pretty much under control. I don't crave carbohydrates, except for an apple and I haven't found it necessary to pig out on anything. The 800 calorie per day hasn't interfered with my hypoglycemia, although I did experience a temporary setback, but it had nothing to do with diet. The setback had more to do with my inability to manage my time wisely.

My hypoglycemia is not related to diabetes, but is reactive. It usually happens within four hours after eating, which happened to be the case on Wednesday. I normally don't eat lunch at school, just snack on an apple. Well, we were TAKS testing and I ate a lunch tray with the boys. Fried chicken and coleslaw were the two items I sampled. I removed the skin from the chicken, but I suppose it wasn't enough. I shouldn't have had the fried chicken, but I did and I paid for it. By the time I was able to eat again around 7PM, the symptoms had already set in. After a crash, I become very tired and unresponsive. That evening instead of running I just went to bed.

I started running a mile at the outdoor track Saturday night. It was very difficult and I had to push myself to finish it. The soreness I experienced gave me a realization that no matter how many miles I do in the gym...it will never compare to real running. I've done a total of four miles so far for the week, and my legs haven't stopped hurting yet.

I tried on my fours again this week. I can zip them up, but I think they're still too tight to wear in public without being considered a skank of some sort. So, I must really say that now I'm a size six. One of my friends says that he admires women who wear their clothes too small to create the "muffin top" look. I can't say that I do, and refuse to join the club.

Defining My Priorities

We have one more day of TAKS testing, leaving the social studies test for tomorrow. A co teacher traded places with me, allowing for a day in the class room. I truly enjoy reading to the boys and hearing them read as we discuss issues and new words they have never heard of before. Words you and I take for granted, such as paranoia, fascist, and euphoria.

Deciding on what to teach, which words they should know rocks my boat at times. Thousands of words come to mind, hundreds of books on the shelves, and good books at that; create a mind swirling effect for me. I have the same problem on deciding on my priorities, picking the most important.

One way I found that aided in my defining my priorities was to first define me. How do I define myself? What do I want to be? I don't define myself through a corporate world. I don't define myself as the Wink goddess. I don't define myself as religious...so I know what I'm not, but what am I?

Defining oneself may sound old school, but the process can be truly eye opening. Here's me in a nutshell: family, nature & environment, security, fun and adventure. Very basic ideas that should get further defining, such as family, I'm referring to my son and daughter. Nature and environment, to me means doing my part to create a beautiful place in which I live, enjoying the wonderful world around me and protecting it for my children.

Recently, I've been giving the environment a bit of consideration, considering I live in oil country. In and around Wink there are pump jacks doing their thing. I guess I never gave it much thought until about three months ago, when I noticed that the usual oil and gas smell started smelling a bit different.

The smell that I'm smelling is similar to that of a chemical perm. You know, the one you get for your hair. A couple of years ago, I smelled this same smell on my way to work in Pecos. That's about the same time that Chesapeake moved in and began drilling 400 new wells. I don't know much about it, and I'm learning a little bit every day. I just found out about this new process they call fraking. AND from what I've read so far, it's bad...very bad. Like I said, I like to know about things before I actually say anything, because if not then something embarrassing happens, like thinking somebody likes you for more than a friend and then you say something stupid and well, you know.

What I found out about this Hydraulic Fracturing is that the oil companies use very toxic water. Well, there have been some cases where the water seeped out and killed livestock and could have possibly contaminated the local drinking water. I don't know about you, but that's a bit scary! The kids and I already don't drink the tap water, but we still have to bathe in it. I was trying to figure out something I could do to help out this problem. I don't have a lot of time, but I did find a very helpful link. I clicked on it and was able to send a little note to some people in Congress. It only took me a few minutes to fill out the form and then send it on line. No stamps, no printing, no writing...just a few keystrokes!

Now, before you think I'm some sandal wearing, tree huggin' hippie...think about this. We have proof just from the HUGE bailout, that Congress doesn't read everything they sign and put into action. Ponder on that for a moment. You never know what they've agreed to and neither do they.

Anderson Cooper, One Sexy News Guy

I've been a huge fan of Anderson Cooper before he became a part of the CNN news team. I used to watch him weekly on a TV reality game show titled The Mole. That was an interesting game. Contestants were brought together, one of which was the mole, who was suppose to sabotage the smaller games within the bigger game. All throughout the season there would be clues as to the identity of the mole. After each episode, each contestant had to answer questions based on who they thought the mole was. The contestant who answered the least amount of questions correctly was removed from the game. I truly enjoyed that show, because I'm also a huge fan of playing CLUE. I love mysteries.

Back to Anderson Cooper, I think I find him sexy because of his grey hair. I'm attracted to grey hair which most of the time belongs to older men. Yes, I would say I prefer older men, not that I've ever had the courage to date someone let's say...10 years older me, but I suppose there could always be a first time. I'm remembering the largest span of age between me and a man that I was dating to be about 7 years. Another, older man that I find extremely sexy is Sam Elliott. I think I better stop fantasizing and go back to work.

Finding A Balance and Protecting My Plan in Wink, Texas

You ever have one of those days where felt it like the road would never end? That you wish you could just get there? Boy, I sure have! TAKS testing, aversions, toxic remarks, lunchroom brawl, flying desks...zowie, and to top it off, it was a scorcher, 115 degrees.


Finding a healthy balance for anything you do from dieting to dating is a smart idea. Have you ever tried juggling? I did. The very first time, it was chaos! Imagine that these balls are your commitments and goals. With practice and a few amount of balls to juggle they'll glide effortlessly in the air. BUT with too many balls and not enough practice, they'll be dropped and in some cases lost forever.

You have to prioritize. I know, you've heard that buzz word too many times, but you gotta know what's important to you, or what's the point? You'll just go along aimlessly, feeling the same old sad miserable feelings and then twenty years later...wonder why you've never accomplished anything, met anyone or did anything.

I'll give you some handy dandy tips on figuring out how to prioritize. Until next time...Big Hug...Tee Hee :)

Preferential Treatment for being Too Pretty

Toxicity abounds today. I'm worn out by it, I really tried hard to ignore it and use my handy dandy script, but I'm just wearing down too quickly. Maybe it's the heat that's got me all kaddywhompus, I don't know.

Another toxic battle hag at West Texas State School made a comment that the secretary and I get preferential treatment at work because we're "Pretty". Really? Hmm...let me think about that "preferential" treatment.

We're the ones that make sure all the snacks, cakes and ice cream are present at each graduation party, we're the ones that have to clean up after everyone else has gone home, we're the ones that come in on our days off to make sure that everything is in order for when everyone else comes back to work, we're the ones that stay late to pack up all the TAKS stuff, we're the ones that missed part of their lunch today to keep a mob of boys from tearing each other up...geez, I'm thinking I ain't getting no special treatment!

Well, I thanked Ms. Toxic Battle Hag for the lovely compliment and told her that anytime she'd like to give me some preferential treatment for being pretty, that I'd be more than willing to accept. ;)

TAKS Testing, Great Confusion and Even Better Advice

Whew...day one of a four day TAKS testing schedule is complete. Overall, I'm delighted with how the boys performed. They worked hard and stayed focused and now we'll just have to wait a few weeks to get the results. During the TAKS test, the school secretary, whom I blogged about before, (she's the pretty one with the beautiful body) attended a management meeting with TYC (Texas Youth Commission). During the meeting, the problem with graduated students not having a purpose any longer was discussed. The recommendations by TOP BRASS at TYC were this: You guys were hired to take care of them during the day. Don't push the students to graduate, or wait until they get ready to leave and then encourage them to get credits.

Those statements were incredulous. I'm at a loss, really...TEXAS wake up. The state is spending your money to basically baby sit some boys, but they're not really interested in changing their behavior or preparing them for a future that doesn't involve criminal behavior.

AND why should they? Repeat offenders keeps places like TYC open and political favors coming in. Political favors was mentioned quite a few times today. Makes you wonder...does anyone do anything anymore with a clear conscience?

Failed Early Morning Run and SCANDAL in West Texas

I related yesterday that I was going to rise an extra thirty minutes before my usual time for a brisk run before heading off to work. That didn't come to fruition, but instead I hit the snooze button about 3 times. Work at the West Texas State School was exhausting today, because I'd been gone for a week. I forgot conveniently how taxing the boys can be and how they demand so much of my attention. This week is extremely important, we have 9 young men preparing to take their TAKS EXIT LEVEL TESTS. In the state of Texas, one must pass these tests, even if they have the required amount of credits, to graduate from high school. These tests are similar to the GED in the fashion that they are both written in English, other than that, the TAKS remains a mighty difficult undertaking.

Before I left for holiday, it was my understanding that the school would remain operating until August of 2010. When August of 2010 rolled around the school has been ordered to close permanently. Well, when I got back to WTSS today, a vicious, nasty rumor had been circulating that said the school was closing at the end August 2009. The rumor had been started by the top guy at the Pyote facility. I believe this to be a direct attack against the employees for several reasons:

1. If the top brass can jump start enough discord and unrest, more people will quit which will leave the school short staffed causing a severe problem which will act as a catalyst to shut the school down early.

2. Apparently, someone has a vested interest in West Texas State School shutting down. Possibly, could there be a monetary incentive to a certain person? A likely transfer to the Galveston facility as their Superintendent once the Pyote School is closed?

3. The education program under Iraan Sheffield ISD has been so much more successful than it ever was under the tutelage of the Texas Youth Commission; in such a short period of time, that after YEARS of inefficiency and corrupt waste a truly successful program would blow the lid off their blatant mismanagement all over the great state of Texas.

Fact: As far as I know, the Pyote location has not graduated a student in the past 5 years. They had a particular young man for FOUR years, and when Iraan took over the education and started the program of intensive direct teaching and computer lab skill mastery, this young man only had 1 credit in Physical Education. After just 11 months, this student has earned 13 credits, earned his GED and is now taking the EXIT LEVEL TAKS TEST. He and 8 others will be testing this week like all other Junior and Senior level students across the great state of Texas.

Once these students graduate, they are no longer enrolled in high school. It seems very strange that after YEARS and YEARS of Texas Youth Commission management, there is NOTHING in place for these graduates. You know what some of them did today? Swept the floor.

Taking if from the Gym to the Track in Wink Texas.

OOOO-RAAAH! If I were a marine that's what I would of said tonight. I decided since the gym was closed and I couldn't do a work out to take the running and stepping I've been doing in the gym to the track. A couple of weeks ago I decided in my mind that I'd like to do a marathon. Of course, it would be a short one, like a 5K and of course it would be somewhere with pretty landscape.

With that said, I determined to try running (more like jogging) a mile tonight on the track at the school. I started off pretty good, nice straight form, arms close to the sides, wide stride, steady breathing and lots of focus. My legs ached a little bit because of the strenuous work out the day before and my chest burned slightly. Running on a treadmill differs greatly from running on a track, I'm not sure why, but it does.

I completed the mile run in about 14 minutes. I know, not great, but hey...it's a start! I felt really really really good. I mean really good. (that's for my boy toy ;)


Since that went pretty well, I've decided to wake up an extra 30 minutes earlier in the mornings to include a brisk run before work. Durango does skinny dipping in his pool before work, but I don't have a pool. I doubt I'd skinny run, even though Durango has tried skinny hiking.

Tombstone - Doc Holliday`s Shot Glass Battle of the Wills

After the long walk to clear my mind, I came home to find that Tombstone would air just for my viewing pleasure. Since the movie airs on the History Channel, every 30 minutes or so, a couple of historians come on and give you some very interesting facts about Wyatt Earp. This first discussion involves the type of gun Earp carried and how he buffalo whipped bad men. I don't mind the break in by the historians due to my keen interest in history.

A while back I blogged about Josephine and Wyatt. I choose to believe they had a long, happy romance. The other couple that fascinates me from the movie, as well as history, that being Big Nose Kate and Doc Holiday. Their relationship embedded with angst, thievery, disease and difficult dilemmas also endured. Although I'm partial to Sam Eliott's gruff demeanor, deep voice and rugged appearance, who plays Virgil in the movie...my favorite character from the movie can only be Doc Holiday.

Doc carries a multitude of wonderful lines. His tense exchange with Johnny Ringo is a parallel sub plot in the movie. The conflict presents itself with the exchange in Latin between Doc and Ringo which results in Doc's memorable shot glass scene. Ringo isn't a foil for Doc...they're exactly the same, but on opposite sides of the O.K. Corral.

I suppose the same case could be made for us living here and them living there. I don't have to name names, the scenario is the same all over. We're exactly the same, flesh and blood...bones, a body that feels pain, love and enjoyment, experiences hardships and celebrates the victories...we're just on opposite sides of the O.K. Corral.

Imagine - John Lennon Could We See His Vision Come To Be?

Thanks to my old high School friend from Dallas, I got to feel a bit nostalgic this morning and pulled out my old vinyl album. Of course, with technology the way it is today I was able to share the song with you. :)

Grocery Shopping on the Last Official Day of My Vacation in Wink, Texas

Yes, it's officially the last day of my vacation before I head back to work for another 4 weeks. I didn't do much on my week off, I had already taken the kids on a mini vacation back in June. The ex hubby came down to visit for the 4th of July and that turned out to be a rather enjoyable weekend. The hightlights of the week were spent working out at the gym, talking to friends on the phone, going to breakfast with Wendy, a little scrap booking, playing video games with my daughter, playing lawn darts with both kids (which I've become the supreme champion), meeting the new (well, I knew him from high school) elementary principal, putting puzzles together, getting life insurance, killing a scorpion in my son's room, sleeping in late, staying up even later, watching Valkerie, and to finish the week I went grocery shopping.

I remember when I lived in Denver and was working for Healthcor. Healthcor was a durable medical equipment company and it's headquarters was located out near Houston. The Denver branch did business in a dusty old warehouse, while the Houston offices sported plush carpeting, marble counter tops, air conditioning and a host of other luxuries. One of the ladies visiting me from Houston commented on how the Colorado women didn't care much about their appearance, that they'd go out in public without their hair done and makeup on. She mentioned it to me because she knew I had lived in Houston at one time in my life. She also said, that a Texas Lady wouldn't be caught outside without her face on.

Since I was going out to the grocery store today, I figured I'd better put my face on and fix my hair. If you could hear me say that out loud...you'd get all tickled pink. While at the grocery store I got the usual; fruit, veggies, bread...that sorta thing. I also noticed a wide selection of men at the store today. I was glad I had my face on and my hair fixed.

What's that Clicking Sound I Hear?

I always get a little leery of posting about anything political. My beliefs are all over the place and sometimes change according to what's going on. I find that a person's ideology is shaped by their environment, their parent's beliefs and the local indoctrination of the whatever school or higher education they attended. So, I don't get upset with people if their political beliefs differ from mine, they're the product of their environment...very few people actually do the research and "know" why they believe what they believe.

My brother and I talk to each other every day. He lives in LA and he's 5 years younger than me. When my brother was 19, he ran away from home (my mommy to this day calls it that) and came to live with me in New Orleans, LA. When I moved to Denver, CO...my little brother stayed.

Prior to Hurricane Katrina, my brother wasn't interested in anything political. He was skipping along happily just dealing with day to day life. You see, I also don't inflict my painful views onto to anyone, they have to inflict theirs first. Post Katrina, my brother started listening to talk radio, because that's the only place he could get any information. During his talk radio period, he discovered politics. It was quite funny listening to him get all riled up telling me things I had already known, but it's also a wonderful growing experience that I got to participate in.

So, now our daily talks will include some form of political discussion. It's been fun to mix in a little Texas Secession, Push Over Obama and the Dirty Deeds of Oil Companies. What I have noticed though, that whenever me and lil' bro start talking about Obama...my phone begins to click.

I'm a Bitch, I'm a Lover--Mixed Signals in Wink, TX

I remember when this song first came out, I thought it was incredible. The video depicted Brooks on a background of flowers and pretty female symbols floating by in a stark contrast with "bitch". It was 1997, and the year before I had ended a five year marriage after the hubby of that marriage grazed in greener pastures. Some of you may know that the next marriage ended the same way. What I've always tried to understand is how a person can inflict so much pain and hurt on another. I can't explain the level of hurt I experienced, the caustic exchanges, the brutality of the words and actions. It would seem that the trauma would have left me bitter, but surprisingly, I'm not.

One I think, would take some time to ponder...two marriages ending the same, exact way? I've come to several conclusions on my own and have been given some insight from other sources. I'm going to share this information, because I think a lot of people, not just women have or will experience this type of heartbreak eventually.

First of all, I truly believe the ability to "cheat" on your significant other is either in you or not. Sorta like having a predisposition to certain behaviors.

Secondly, I think it happens due to lack of communication. Someone apparently in the relationship wants something, right? I mean if he/she didn't then he/she wouldn't be out "looking". We lose the ability to talk to each other, to remember what brought us together in the first place.

The last revelation, isn't my own. It was revealed by a very close male friend. I related to him the happenings of inside the marriage, the events leading to the end. His observation was that I was too easy. That because of my willingness to please, to do for my hubby --I was disregarded. It's a hard pill to swallow. He explained to me that I needed to be more of a bitch.

I'm not willing to change that about myself. What I think will happen and has happened is that I won't be willing to fully love anyone again. Not because I'm afraid of heartbreak...no, it's the time in between. The long periods of loneliness, of longing, of trying to figure out what it is you've done wrong. I don't ever want to allow anyone the ability to cause me so much pain...

OR...maybe there will be a person one day, who knows. All I do know, is that I'm content and satisfied with the way I feel. I'm not wondering, worried or wigged out.